notes from a job I should've quit sooner
My current job came in at a desperate time. I was laid off from my previous role after five months at a time when my health was in shambles. The job hunt was intense, and I was glad to land the role, but soon after I started, I knew it wasn't a good fit.
The team dynamic, company culture, and product did not align with my energy and the way I work. Still, I stayed and pushed myself to adapt for a long time. Somewhere along the lines, I gave up and became comfortable. It went from mild excitement to mundane and then to barely tolerable. Fast. I didn't bother to improve or integrate into the team because it felt like a hopeless fantasy until a different fantasy came along.
Leave for a better company. I've found a role that genuinely excites me, and I start next month. A perfect time to reflect. I didn't enjoy my time here but still learned valuable lessons.
I stayed too long out of fear
I stayed too long despite the disrespect and ungratefulness. Part of me thought I could change their opinion with effort. I was scared too of the unknown if I left. The stay cost me more than the fear ever would have. It marred several months of my life with nothing but dread of mornings and Monday blues.
Don't talk to me like that
I didn't stand up for myself for a long time for the sake of politeness. One of my colleagues was cold from day one. I ignored it and smiled to get along. Rude comments on code reviews. Petty remarks about others in meetings. Snarky comments in public channels. I took it for a time, then finally told him to shut up. He was careful after that, and we still worked together, but I knew I couldn't stay there anymore.
Note to self. Stand up for yourself from the first day. If someone has an unreasonable tone, don't let it slide.
They had no idea what they were talking about
The annual review was brutal. I had prepared my notes to start a case for promotion and a salary bump because I had a great year. Or so I thought.
What I walked into was nothing short of a compilation of insults. And it took me down a dark path. I questioned my abilities. Their opinions defined me for a little time until I processed everything. I knew they had no idea what they were talking about.
My abilities are not subject to their opinions. I know what I'm capable of, and I have years to back it up. Constructive feedback is welcome, but you will not tear me down because we don't agree on something.
Ask before you act
Don't press a button because you want to get something done faster. Companies love processes and rules to slow you down. Still, you have to play the game and follow them. If you're unsure about something, or a documented process doesn't behave as you expect, ask someone. Put the ticket on hold. Block it even. Don't take matters into your own hands where you risk damage to your reputation and peace of mind.
Go slow and easy. Take your time. Talk to people. Don't go around changing IP addresses and security groups because the process is in your way. Otherwise you might end up in situations you can't erase from people's minds.
I should've asked more questions
My worst mistake was not clarifying business vocabulary early on. I admit our business domain was a complicated beast, and jobs before hadn't been like that. I kept my head down and thought things would eventually click with more exposure. Most didn't. Over time, it became difficult to ask questions because I was too afraid to look stupid.
I should've asked questions from day one. If something isn't clear, ask. What does that mean? Why do we do it like that? Questions and more questions.
No job is worth more than your health and your peace of mind, and you can always leave. That's what I take with me from this one.