haven't fooled around enough
I've been spending time exploring my past. The more I think about everything, the more I've realized a pattern. I'm focused on how I felt. Accomplishments are mandatory to have a comfortable life, sure.
All I ruminate about are times that had nothing to do with success. They had to do with living life without fear. I've always had bundles of responsibilities and accountability weighing me down. I haven't fooled around enough. I haven't risked enough. This leaves me to wonder.
If I keep living in the same way, would I regret that at 40? I may have achieved a lot by then, but I'll never be younger. I won't be able to return and enjoy my 30s.
The past few days have also made me wonder about writing again. I know. I know. I've done this several times before too. Isn't that an indication enough? I'm my best version in periods when I write consistently. I've had many breakthroughs and epiphanies. I've thought about things I otherwise wouldn't pause for. I live a better life when I'm thinking constructively and putting thoughts on paper instead of running an endless circus of thoughts with pointless repetitive commentary inside my head.
So write. Live. Laugh. Love. You can't continue to put life on hold forever.