calm the monkey down
I can't do relax without guilt. I've always ensured to push myself further in life. This has served me well. Yet, this habit also backfires.
I haven't been able to enjoy life for what it offers. If I'm not working, I'm wasting my time. This thought has ruined movies, events, and precious moments with family. I've always been consumed by what to tackle next.
Thankfully, these past few weeks have rewired some circuits. I can sit by a window, watch the world fly, and enjoy it. I can stroll outside without Audible and soak in my surroundings. I can scroll through Instagram and YouTube without stress. I can breathe. I can smile. I can relax.
I know people have opposite problems. They're too lazy and need restrictions to become productive. I've been productive for so long that I've forgotten how to enjoy little things.
I'm improving in this regard, and today has been a good example. I've put a chair next to the window and spent a major chunk today staring outside. I've written. I've observed. I've enjoyed.
I'm curious how I'll change once The Quality Group job begins. I certainly won't return to the days of KnowUnity. Still, I'm looking forward to seeing how these new habits will fit into the picture.